As I get older the little aches and pains become more prevalent. While I am in fairly good physical health the need to do more stretching and have a better diet is not lost on me. I have learned that my wife on the other hand takes her health and aging as catastrophic. Keep in mind that she is what the younger people say is "extra" about everything. The fact that she has legitimate pain and issues is very real. One thing that affects me though is that she is a terrible patient. If I try to help or give suggestions, they are readily dismissed. At least until she can review are read something on the internet which suggest just the same thing I said.
Also most pain or issues are "extreme" to her. Because of this it is hard for me to determine what is serious and what is not. If we are walking, or she has a hot flash the typical response is that she is "sweating like a dog" or "she is hot as he--". This also causes a variety of temperature adjustments to room and car temperature.
The other thing I have noticed, and I don't know if this is a thing with older African American women, but she will identify a pain or a problem but doesn't want help from a doctor or a specialist on what to do. It's like they are afraid to go to them because they believe they will get bad news, find out other things are wrong, or are afraid of "possible side effects". Now all of these are reasonable but for a person like me it amounts to living your life in fear of the unknown. My wife has a more holistic approach to her ailments and pain and believes in finding natural ways to deal with them. This does also allow her to continue to have them ongoing to some degree.
While I hate to see her in pain and do whatever I can to help through it, she is the boss around here. Like the old show "Father Knows Best" , my "Wife Knows Best" and one of my jobs as a good man is to support her when and wherever I can. On the flip side as the boss she "always" is looking out for me and my health. This is one of the ways I know she loves me. And I love her.
