Depressed and Blessed

 Recently while just sitting on my couch and thinking about what is going on in the world, I found myself overcome with depression. We have just gone through hurricane Helene. Seeing all the suffering of the people who lost everything in the storm from Florida to North Carolina was heartbreaking. It was even more painful was the fact that I live in the Tampa Bay area.

 I have visited the beaches, coastal cities, and even the inland areas where flooding took place. At the same time my home was spared from any damage, even though we live a mile away from the water in one of the southernmost points of Tampa, near MacDill Airforce Base. The thoughts of what these families will be facing from now well into the future is mindboggling and heart wrenching. 

The whole picture of the toll global warming has taken on our country and the world is horrific. There is really no place to escape. There are heat domes, fires, tornados, hurricanes, floods caused by rains in some areas and droughts in others. 

There are displaced children all over the world who are suffering from starvation and wars. I cannot count the number of requests I receive daily to Feed the Children, Feed the Poor, and others causes. Indians, Africans, Middle Eastern, European, and American. 

The daily news shows us the pictures of those killed in the senseless war in Gaza and Ukraine. These are not soldiers fighting soldiers, but innocent men, women, and children caught trying to live their daily lives. The cities and homes destroyed, and nothing left but crumbled rock. There is nothing left to even be inhabitable. This all based on one ideology that opposes another and has designs to eradicate the other.

Then there is the issue of mass shooting in America and the fact that innocent and not so innocent people are killed every day by guns in our country. I cannot for the life of me understand why it should be legal to have assault guns in this country except for the military and police. The fact that the name itself "assault" indicates that these are meant to assault and kill people should be enough to say they should be allowed for everyday use. The idea that "guns don't kill people, people kill people" is asinine. It is depressing to see another memorial for children or adults killed in mass shooting.

 As I tear up for the Hurricane victim in Florida, the flood victim in North Carolina, the fire victim in California, the starving child in Sudan, and the bloody child in Gaza, I am overwhelmed by the thought of how blessed I am. As a Christain, I believe that God is in control and all the good fortune that has been bestowed on me is from the grace of God. Every day I will thank him for my blessings and conduct myself with the thought of WWJD. I also pray that this country and the world will become a better place for those who will remain after I have passed from this place.

 

Justice-Maybe/Maybe Not

 Recently there has been so much activity with our justice system that it's hard not to discuss. Not only has an ex-president been indited for several criminal crimes, but I have watched tv programs about people incarcerated for crimes they didn't commit as well as those who may have been guilty but never faced punishment. My local newspaper ran a weekly series about a person who spent years in prison for a crime they didn't commit and now what happens next for them. The one thing that stands out for me is that while our system of justice is probably the best in the world it is complicated, and those with power or money can manipulate it, while common or poor people don't really stand much of a chance. Also, whether you believe it or not race has a play in decisions by a supposedly blind justice system. I know this for a fact, as I watched my daughter try to navigate through the legal system after a series of poor choices in her twenties. It is discouraging to see white people extended chances that she would never get.  Charges such as hitting a pedestrian while DWI, even though your driver's license had been suspended three times and two other DWI on your record.

While the things that Trump has done including inciting a riot at the Capital, retaining classified documents after leaving office, tax fraud, and probably many other things that were never pursued he uses his money and lawyers to delay trails, find loopholes, and will eventually not face what any reasonable individual would consider cut and dry crimes. His New York trial regarding misrepresentation of campaign finances was a weak case at best and 34 charges all about the same crime is overkill even for someone like me. At the same time the current President's son is on trial for buying a gun and checking a box that said he wasn't an addict at the time, when he was. It was a first offense, he didn't even load the gun, and had it for eleven days. Anyone else would have gone to court got a fine and a probated sentence, but not in this politically charged environment. 

It is painful to see these things happening and envisioning a future where the rich and powerful control the system in a way that maintains their power over minorities or people who disagreed with them.  People say that things swing like a pendulum, and that we must speak out to clean up the system and the partisanship politics that has helped to politicize democracy and its many great systems and institutions. Unfortunately, I feel like this is not a pendulum but a sludge hammer, that is on the downswing.

Day by Day

 As I have aged, retired, and continue to learn wife speak I have become a person of habit in the mornings, I normally get out of bed between 8 and 8:30, after having gone to the bathroom at least three times during the night. Fortunately after these excursions I am able to get back to sleep easily. My fit bit says I normally get two hours of deep sleep, four to five hours of light sleep, and about fifteen minutes of awake(pee) time. After getting up I go about my morning ritual of washing up, brushing my teeth, and shaving (head and beard). I then take my morning medications put on aftershave and get dressed. As a creature of habit I always make up the bed (by now my wife is also up and out of bed). This seems to set up the organization of my day. Down the stairs I go to turn on the coffee maker, plug up my phone to it's charger, and open the blinds at the windows to get that morning sunlight and see what's going on outside. 

I make my morning cup of coffee (got to have it) get my laptop and set down at the kitchen island to read the morning newspaper. Yes I still read the paper. I used to get a printed copy, but they were so sporadic with delivery that I now just go digital. Yeah for me. I could fix breakfast, but I have learned that it is best that I stay out of my wife's domain here. Since my life resembles the "Pickles" comic strip, by Brian Crane in the newspaper (I highly recommend it. I get my morning smile everyday from it) I know that I have to have instruction from my wife on egg cooking, elimination of crumbs from the counter, pan usage, and a variety of other issues. While she may not want to do all the cooking (she really does) she feels it is necessary. I think her OCD and germaphobia may have something to do with it. 

I turn on our Sonos music, which is relaxing to me, and listen to whatever Pandora station I'm into this particular day. No TV till after 4:00 in the afternoon. Mostly news then, which is always pretty depressing. After these morning rituals the rest of each day is up for grabs. Do we need to go to the grocery, a doctors appointment, retail therapy for my wife, book reading, walks in the park, workout at the gym, trip to the beach or new restaurant. There's always housework and planning for travel trips.

The evening activities start with the evening news and then identifying what we are going to watch on TV. We have a list of programs for each day including reality tv like Survivor, Big Brother, etc. Then there are the dramas, comedy, and of course sorts shows for me. Basically when people ask me "How's it going?" I normally think " the same sh--, just a different day." But that's life, an accumulation of events and experiences. and I am blessed to have them day after day.

Is the context important?

 With the terrible attack by Hamas on Israel, I felt it necessary to think about what this war is all about and how it started. While I know that there is a biblical context to this whole story as it relates to Christianity, Judaism, and the Muslem religions. Many of the spiritual locations should as Jerusalem are key parts of these religions. Wars and have occurred for centuries in this part of the world between ethnic groups. As a baby boomer the back story to this current war occurred as I was just a child and as I grew up I only heard about the conflicts themselves.

Before World War I this area of the world was part of the Ottoman Empire and was called Palestine. It was populated primarily by Arab Muslims, some Arab Christians and Jews. Most Jewish people lived in Europe or outside of Palestine in the Middle East and the Americas. Over time populist movements developed where Jews wanted to return to Zion, hence the term Zionism, and the Arab Nationalism. In the late 1800's there was a movement in Europe by Jews to return to motherland and an antisemitism movement began in Russia and Europe. In 1917 after defeating the Turks, this area was under British military rule. After WWI an agreement was struck that established this area as a Palestinian state and established it as a national homeland for Jewish people. 

After this there were many conflicts between Jews, Palestinians, and the British occupation forces leading up to WWII. Hitler gained support for the Middle East by committing to eliminate this homeland for Jews in Palestine and the British control in the region. He went further with the Holocaust. After WWII Palestine was divided up by the United Nations and ongoing accords. An independent Israeli state was created in Palestine with various portions isolated for the Palestinians within it. A war ensued between Israel and surrounding Arab states in 1948. This resulted in a victory for Israel and they annexed more territory. 700-750 thousand Palestinian Arabs fled or were expelled and became refugees and were not allowed to travel into what was now considered Israel while 850,00 Jews fled or were expelled for Arab countries. Violence was ongoing during this period with several short wars thorough the late sixties.

After the defeat of Arab countries during the Six Day War with Israel political and military factions of the Palestinians began to surface. Extreme military groups began establishing strongholds with Hamas become the most established. It mantra is the destruction of Israel and the Jewish people for the pain and suffering which they have subjected the Palestinians too. There is no more room for discussions on a split of the into two states. One for Palestine and one for Israel. Because of ideology it is not possible for these two sets of people to share the land when both claim it for themselves. Context is an important part of understanding both sides of an argument, and history has brought us to the point where we are now. The Palestinians want a free land of their own, just as the Jews have wanted for centuries and now have. 

I don't have any idea about what the outcome of this latest war will be, but I am sure that it will not be a positive result for our world and its future. Hamas does not represent "all Palestinian people. It is an extremist group that has a stated mission of the annihilation of Israel. Talks of peace or even a two state compromise in the area is a threat to them. In my opinion this is why they attacked and not due to anything that Israel had recently done.  Win, lose, or draw thousands of lives will be lost and this area of the world will be devasted. As both sides should say, "God help us".

 

 

Aging Pains

 As I get older the little aches and pains become more prevalent. While I am in fairly good physical health the need to do more stretching and have a better diet is not lost on me. I have learned that my wife on the other hand takes her health and aging as catastrophic. Keep in mind that she is what the younger people say is "extra" about everything. The fact that she has legitimate pain and issues is very real. One thing that affects me though is that she is a terrible patient. If I try to help or give suggestions, they are readily dismissed. At least until she can review are read something on the internet which suggest just the same thing I said. 

Also most pain or issues are "extreme" to her. Because of this it is hard for me to determine what is serious and what is not. If we are walking, or she has a hot flash the typical response is that she is "sweating like a dog" or "she is hot as he--". This also causes a variety of temperature adjustments to room and car temperature. 

The other thing I have noticed, and I don't know if this is a thing with older African American women, but she will identify a pain or a problem but doesn't want help from a doctor or a specialist on what to do. It's like they are afraid to go to them because they believe they will get bad news, find out other things are wrong, or are afraid of "possible side effects". Now all of these are reasonable but for a person like me it amounts to living your life in fear of the unknown. My wife has a more holistic approach to her ailments and pain and believes in finding natural ways to deal with them. This does also allow her to continue to have them ongoing to some degree.

While I hate to see her in pain and do whatever I can to help through it, she is the boss around here. Like the old show "Father Knows Best" , my "Wife Knows Best" and one of my jobs as a good man is to support her when and wherever I can. On the flip side as the boss she "always" is looking out for me and my health. This is one of the ways I know she loves me. And I love her.

A Crossroad

 When I retired to Florida I had several good reasons in mind, and after four years still believe they were and still are valid. The weather, cost of living, taxes, and attractions all make it a great place to live. When I first arrived, we had to endure the last year of the Trump "dynasty" and the beginning of the covid pandemic. The transition to Joe Biden and the democratic government has been rough, particularly with Trumps allegations of a rigged election and the riot at the capital, caused by it. But now my concern turned to what comes next. 

Our governor, Ron DeSantis has an agenda that I am more fearful of than Trump's. Trump was basically a narcissist, racist, and individual with no real knowledge of government. A bully who had power, leading those who had been undercover in their fear of losing it. DeSantis, on the other hand is intelligent, with knowledge of how politics work, while still having the desire for power and control. His "culture war" against what he calls as the "woke" establishment is horrifying, particularly for those who look back over history with a purpose of learning from our mistakes and successes.

While Florida has a critical need for property tax reform, an insurance network which is in catastrophic trouble, a teacher shortage and a public school system which continues to get worst, environmental issues, along with a health department that rails against prevailing science, our governor is off on a cultural based on "us versus them". Since he has obtained a Republican/conservative majority in the legislature, he has gone about his work with surgical precision, taking control of local and state boards. Overriding the vote of the people in many cases to put those in charge who will do his bidding. He has used the pretense of giving parents more control in schools and over their children, with his anti LGBQ policies, banning books, and any efforts to teach anything that does not show white America in a positive light. He incited people at the teaching of "critical race theory" (which by the way was not taught in elementary classes) when he didn't even know what it is and has never even taken an African American Studies program his career.

This is a politician who has persuaded individuals that they live in the free state of Florida when at every turn they are having government interjected into their lives. How they can/cannot vote, what they can read, what they can say, what medicines they can use, and many other things. Many policies are pushed based on the governor's agenda and not from the majority of the population. It is easy to see how a move to charter schools a plan is to eliminate the public school system or at least change it to a second-class system for poor and minority studies who can't afford anything else. The "state" will be able to teach history it sees fit and "indoctrinate" our children, just the way they say they are being indoctrinated by liberals today. In the meantime, average people will suffer from devasting climate events with no coverage, raising taxes and interest rates forcing them from their homes, limited health care and assistance from their government, and forced to toe the line or else.

I fear for the future of my grandchildren, when this type of leadership is the alternative for America's future. And that is only if we don't succumb to World War 111. Remember history and how the last two World Wars began? The opponents to the Trump's and DeSantis's of America are not out there now, but they will need to be developed if we are to survive. At least in my mind. While both sides of our political arena talk about the "policies of the elite" on the other side, there aren't many average Joe's in positions of power. Racist policies and those like gun policies based on misrepresented constitutional amendments, will keep us from realizing the dream for this government experiment.

 

Is your house a home?

 When I retired a few years ago my wife and I decided to downsize and relocate to Tampa Florida. We enjoyed the city with its weather, beaches, attractions, restaurants and all-around livability. We moved into a two-bedroom condo in a gated community, made some renovations and I was pretty happy. I didn't take long for me to see that this would not be our retirement home for long. My wife became fascinated with the thought of selling or renting the condo to make money. My house was no longer a home but an investment. Now I like making money s much as anyone, but as I have told my wife on many occasions real estate has no attraction for me. While she scanned realtor apps and housing in Tampa I went along because I want to support her interests, as we are a team. 

After living in the condo for a and a half, and managing our funds to pay off the mortgage, her itch to move reached its peak. We had been walking in the neighborhood park during the pandemic year and had watched a group of townhouses being built. After they were completed, we had to see what they looked like inside. My wife loved them, even though they were three stores with steps and cost twice as much as the condo had cost. She convinced me it would be a great "investment" (which it was) and we could rent out the condo to help pay the higher mortgage. Now that we have furnished it, I really like my "home" and enjoying living in it.

However, once again it is not treated like a home, as talk revolves around what we can make when we sell it. Because of the housing market here in Tampa, both the condo and the townhouse have appreciated considerably. However, I cannot be comfortable with every decision and topic of discussion geared around selling. Every trip out is peppered with looking at houses and what might be for sell. Seating, flooring, painting, appliances are all highlighted by what it means to a seller versus what it means to me. Because of the size of the townhouse and the fact that my wife it pretty much a control freak who feels that she has to do everything, makes it hard to just relax. Everything in terms of cleaning is exaggerated. And everything must be in the place. For I guy I think I'm pretty neat and organized but usually I'm the somebody who has or hasn't done something.

Well, we'll probably be moving again in a few years. A process I dread but will be necessary. I don't have many years left, but I'm sure my final "home" will be great, as long as I my project motivated wife still tolerates me being me.