Lil Duval and Snoop Dogg have a song out entitled "Smile". The lyrics go something like this: "I'm living my best life, ain't going back and forth with you. You've got a lot to be smiling for, so what are you wowing for? If you breathing, you achieving. We having fun this evening believing." This has kind of been my motto since I retired a few years ago. All was going well until my middle step daughters problems became mine.
I always wondered about homeless people and how they ended up in their situation. Some I can understand as just plan unfortunate, while others were caused by the systems we live in, and still could be the result of addiction or criminal activity. I always wondered if they had any family that could help them. For the sake of our daughters three young children, my wife was faced with the obligation of taking them in ,along with their mother, once they became homeless.
Her path to homelessness could have been predictable and has been building for years. As a senior in high school, she became pregnant and moved out of the house on her own. We tried to support in those early days, providing her with a car for transportation. Supporting her to get her GED. She was never an early riser, which made maintaining a job difficult. She entered the system to get housing assistance and food stamps. After a few years of struggling she made the common mistake of young people and tried to make easy money. She was caught passing bad checks and incarcerated. We took her little girl during that time. When she was released, as most people do, she said she had learned her lesson and was going to get her act together. However, it was six month later that she was pregnant again, by another man, who turned out to be a criminal and ended up in jail.
Now with two small children and not fathers around, we continued to try and support her with more vehicles (she is very hard on car, and destroyed more that I can remember), leasing her apartments, and buying things for the girls. We got her into a program call Youth Build, where she could learn a trade. However after she graduated she didn't follow up and with her criminal record she could get a job to support the family. She neglected the girls and turned to drugs which resulted in us taking the two girls in this time. She eventually cleaned up enough to get them back.
She got approved for Section 8 housing and was able to move into a low income home. In the meantime she had another child, with another person, who eventually ended up in jail for a short period of time. This time it was a little boy. She worked sporadically during this time, living on state assistance and some child support from her first little girls father. All the while hustling on the street. She went back to school for medical coding, but has never used it. She worked at a nursing home but had a poor attendance record and couldn't pass the certification test.
One year later and two more moves through section 8, she has her fourth child. New father, who also doesn't work, and is receiving disability. Partners in crime as I call them. I helped her with a leased vehicle , which she destroyed in it's first year and exceed the mileage in two years, by twice as much as the lease agreement. It finally broke down and I had to take it back and work on getting it repaired. She lost her section 8 as her and her children destroyed the property and were evicted. There was property stolen from the housing unit which she was charged with and could not pay for. She then moved into another low income housing project and tried to work a deal with the manager to stay with assistance and pay a lower rate. I helped her with funds in both situations but it was only a matter of time, before she and the kids were evicted again.
This is where we came in, with them having no other options but the street. Our world is upside down trying to get them to different schools, meals, and just the constant commotion. The youngest little girl is in the fifth grade and cannot read. The little boy was just introduced into an alternative school for at risk boys, W.E.B. Dubois Academy. But he is already on probation for absenteeism and tardiness. The teenage daughter has missed school and is already repeating part of the ninth grade. She spends most of her time on social media and running around with a group of girls from the inner city. She has been to court for being in a stolen car . Much of her behavior though mirrors her mother, even though I believe she is a good kid. Mom can't get an apartment with no job, no credit, no car, and no possibilities.
She is the stereotypical welfare mother who leaves her kids to get high or try to make money by selling drugs. She feels that as parents we should be there to help her and raise the kids. Well, I'm living my best life and I have helped her at every turn, but I ain't going back and forth with you. I will be selling the house and moving to Florida during the spring and I hope she has figured something out by then. God helps those who help themselves and listen when people try to help them. He also says that sometimes you have to let people go, so they can finish his test.
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