Laundry

As the middle child in a household that contained no female siblings I have a great deal of experience with the finer aspects of house cleaning. It was a ritual to clean the house on Saturday's before any outdoor or play time could even be contemplated. My mother also was a nurses aid and at one point a dental assistant. What this meant to me was that as soon as I could be trusted , probably after age 10, I was expected to wash and iron those white nurses uniforms that she wore. These had to be done correctly, with the appropriate amount of bleach in the washing machine. At this time in my life we were still hanging clothes out on the line to dry. The iron didn't have an automatic spray setting and starch had to be sprayed on from the can. It took a major amount of skill and effort to get these uniforms crisp without any wrinkles and ready for moma to wear. As a boy I mastered this art.

I say all this to let you know that if you are married you will be restricted to only washing your dirty clothes, and even for that you will receive instructions from your loving wife. It is without question that if you try to wash a load of you and your wife's things that you will shrink, fade, or wash something in the incorrect cycle or temperature. I have learned to not take this personally or as an insult to my intelligence. It is just one of the laws of nature.

I have found I can put as many dirty things down the laundry shoot as i want as long as I am willing to wash, dry, iron and put away my things. I have found out that this system is not followed consistently by my wife who may get it washed but not dryed for awhile. Once it is dryed they may not get folded, ironed, or put away for a few days.  I am more than willing to even help out and iron some of her things when she is not watching.(By the way I know I get bonus points for doing this).  

Driving Miss Donna

Sometimes I like to take a drive in the car by myself. I can turn on the radio to the oldies station, listen to a Charlie Wilson CD, or even one of my old casettes (yes I still have a casette player in my car). Most of the time i am either driving or riding with my wife Donna. This is an experience in an of itself as my wife has a tendancy to talk to all the other drivers. So even though they cannot hear her, it feels as if she is talking to me. I am also the receipant of a variety of societal questions regarding their behavior. For example, if a person in front of us is driving too slow or somewhat over the line, I am informed that they are either texting or have been drinking. All semi truck drivers are tired, no matter what time of day it is, and the potential for them to come into our lane is always eminent. Comments such as "Oh, you wanted to turn?" or "Don't even think about it. I was next at the stop sign" provide for an ongoing commentary during our trips. Since some of these drives can get boring these things ,"watch out for the pothole", keep it interesting until we can come up with meaningful things to talk about.

Loans

It has come to my attention that as the head of the family there are certain words that do not exist in the vocabulary. One of those words or phrases is "lend me". While it is used often by members of the family it really is "give me" in code. I would never think of lending my wife any money. After all, all the money that I have is already hers. I probably can get some return on investment for my older son and daughter, however the others may be a lost cause. I don't think they know that I just tease them about this for fun. I am blessed to be able to help them whenever I can. Seing them be able to get what they need or want helps me get all that I need.