Are you a Verbal Narcissist?

 After spending most of my working life as a salesperson and in the management of salespeople I have worked very hard on developing one important skill for success. The skill is the ability to "listen". While many people think they are listening to what people are saying, they really aren't. In the case of salespeople, they typically want to talk more and get their points across, than to listen to s clients needs or questions. In normal life most people appear to be listening, but in their minds they are really formulating their response or next point.

 While you are thinking about what you are going to say, you can't focus on what is being said to you. It takes a lot of work and effort to truly listen. Part of the major problem with politicians these days, are that they do not listen to "understand". They listen for their opponent to make a mistake or say something they can capitalize on for their advantage. I can listen to a conspiracy theorist without interrupting and try to follow their thought. After that I can then respond with my beliefs and why, or ask for more information (facts) to support their idea. 

I have also learned that some people are just what I call "verbal narcissist". These are people who are love to hear themselves talk and believe that they "always" have something to talk about, whether you are interested or not. They have a comment on everything and love to talk about all the things that they have done or their knowledge on any subject. My brother is one of these people. I love him and he has had many life experiences, having been in the military and retiring as Colonel. Even while we were growing up he was the talker while I was more reflective and introverted. I learned over time that I didn't really need to talk unless I had something to say which added to a conversation, presentation, or relationship. As I have gotten older I have found it hard to deal with the verbal narcissist I meet. It is hard to get a word in during the conversations and when I do I pretty much feel like I am not really being listened to. 

I truly believe that patience is a virtue and I try to demonstrate it as much as possible. Many times people will let you know that they believe they are right most of the time, and any response or input from you is viewed as criticism. However, life is short and gets shorter everyday, so I'll continue to have the best conversations of my life with myself.