Dining with Donna

My wife comes from a family of cooks. Her mother, her sisters , and even her nephew are all excellent chefs. Donna, my wife is also quite gifted in the kitchen. She has had her own bakery where she and her mom turned out some delicious desserts. She is also a fan of Hell's Kitchen and Master Chef on TV. She has her own website called Mealfare, where she blogs about food, showing dishes from various restaurants from around the city of Louisville and wherever we may visit during our travels.

Dining with Donna though is an experience. First of all. she has very high standards. It doesn't matter if we are at a white table cloth establishment or the local McDonald's. Everything had better be right with her order. Of course one must take pictures before eating to ensure that we capture the moment. good or bad. This critical eye, while well justified, can be somewhat distracting from have a relaxing dinner. And it always seems to be her food where issues occur. I don't know whether I'm just more accepting for good versus perfection, even though I know I'm not one of those people who Donna claim "will accept anything", especially when they are paying "good money" for it.

Many a waiter has felt her critique regarding old lettuce, cold food, micro waved items, and a host of other issues. All well founded and given with the intent on getting what see pays for and to let the chefs and management know how their patrons feel. We have had some outstanding dining experiences but I am still waiting for that meal where everything is perfect. 

Let's talk history

With Black History month set to begin in February again this year I reflect on just what we are talking about. I assume it is black or Afro American history as it applies to the United States of America. History by definition is "the study of the past, particularly how it relates to humans. It is an umbrella term that relates to past events as well as memory, discovery, collection, organization, presentation, and interpretation of information about these events." The "interpretation" is the part of the definition that I have a problem with, particularly with the history which I was taught and is still being taught in America's schools today.

"The history that's presented to people, that they can interact with, is the product of power. It's about who had the resources to tell the story and what story they chose to tell." The story of the pilgrims in true history is nothing like the tale of John Smith and Pocahontas. Nor is the settling of America anything like the movies and history that is written in our history books. These were trying and cruel times and the Europeans that colonized this country were powerful, rich and ruthless to say the least. The Civil War that divided this country was probably much worst than anything that is going on in Syria or the middle east during these days.

In America the history books were tools to foster nationalism and patriotism, and give students the official line about national enemies. They are sponsored by the government and are written to put the national heritage in the most favorable light. It is no wonder that common history books in our schools show the good side of America and never any of its negatives. We are always fighting for right and being portrayed as the "good neighbor or ally."

George Santayana states that "those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." This is true and can be seen everyday. But what past are we talking about. The same issues of our past still drive many of our most fervent public debates. After the Civil War history changed with the abolishment of slavery. One of the most white washed part of our history that there every was. The Klu Klux Klan established in 1867 was the American alQaeda exist today. They probably killed more people in Reconstruction than Osama Bin Laden managed to do. Changes to the constitution back then defined citizenship, voting rights, state rights, federal overreach, and terrorism. These are issues we death with again in the 1960's and now in the 21st century. 

The only reason there is a need for a Black History month is because the history of blacks in America was omitted in most cases by our public schools. The history of America was written by whites and with a white perspective. America claims to be a melting pot but really nothing is presented as a combined history. Those with wealth and power paint a picture of a country that  was strongly held together by the Anglo Saxon Caucasian that colonized this land. It had nothing to do with the fact that the less fortunate did the work, fought the wars, and carried the burdens which built this great nation. I applaud the Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, and any other minority that lives and dies in America, to try and present their history from their perspective. For it too is American history.

War on Terrorism

Well it looks like the terrorist have won. We named this fight against Al Qaeda as a war against terror since their efforts were designed to scaring us into changing our ways or die. Well with the war going on for over 14 years they have done that. The attack on 9/11 was not an act designed to take over the USA but to bring it down and create a regime change. With that we went into a financial recession, developed a homeland security group which now challenges all our freedoms, and a political structure that is inept and gridlocked.

Internal or home grown terror has us in such a grasp that individuals are buying guns in massive numbers and everyone is gripped with the fear of the next terrorist attacked on innocent civilians. Just a simple phone call to the press or any public establishment threatening an attack can bring cities and establishments to their knees. Whole school districts can be shut down. Public transportation is guarded like military  headquarters just to give the public the perception that they are being protected. And it will never be safe to go to a movie, work, or anywhere without some thought of a possible attack from "someone."

The terrorist have been successful in removing one of our most precious right. The right to the pursuit of happiness and the freedom to live without fear in our country. While we may be winning against ISIS to some degree, we have already lost the war and probably will never be the same as a country again.

Justice or compassion

I recently saw a commentary on TV about an African American who had been on death row for thirty years in Alabama for a crime he did not commit. Another person recently confessed to the crime and he was released. The case had been poorly handled to begin with. The man had received poor legal counsel, African Americans were eliminated from jury selection, no witnesses, no murder weapon and only circumstantial evidence. A rush to judgment that would send a man to his death. This is just one of many cases where death row convictions have been found to be inaccurate.

 

Once the man was released from prison he was found to have stage four lung cancer and died shortly thereafter. When he was released the state gave him a $20 gift card and sent him on his way. While he was entitled to some compensation for being falsely incarcerated for almost his whole life the state said that since nothing was done illegally and since he had previous knowledge that a crime that he didn't bring forward he wasn't going to receive anything.

 

The state prosecutor was asked if he felt that was fair and if he, like many others, had any compassion for the man and what he had been through. The prosecutor said that he was not in. The compassion business and he was just following the law. A mistake was made thirty years ago, the state corrected it, and they were done. They had followed the law at the first trial and they were continuing to follow the law (the ones that fit them). Right or wrong has nothing to do with it. Justice is what they provide and he received delayed justice when he was released. 

 

Our justice system has become a farce for both justice and compassion. The laws are used to "punish" rather that "protect" the citizens. Ask any black person what the results of challenging a police command, even if being calm and non combative. Many people are incarcerated under mandatory sentence laws which do not take into account reasonable sense or compassion for the circumstances. Get killed for having a gun, rather well or fake, even in the same place where  white citizens can brazenly display guns and rifles in public. Criminals are released without even having a trial due to the plea bargaining by attorneys and judges.

 

I would hope that our legal system would be run to provide justice in a reasonable, even  handed, and compassionate manner. Serious crimes should have serious penalties but we should make sure as best we can that we get it right. Justice and compassion do not have to be mutually exclusive. We have more laws than any other country in the world, and by far more people incarcerated.  

The Haves and The Have Nots

There is a new television show on called the "Haves and The Have Nots". It is about two different families. One rich,white and in power, and the other a black family with the matriarch being their maid. The black family comes from a lower class neighborhood,and she has a daughter who has been in trouble and is desirous of the good life. By being an escort she makes her way into the lives of the Haves,and extorts her way to wealth for a while. Of course there are other character and there is way more to the story,but what strikes me the most is that our country and society is actually set up like this. 

America was established with a system whereby there were three classes. The rich, the middle class, and the poor. The poor didn't include slaves,which were considered property, and not even people. There have always been Haves and Have Nots in America. It is funny to me that some politicians argue that providing services for the poor,by having the rich pay more, is some form of socialism. We will never have a society in America where everyone receives equal treatment and wealth is shared, because  that simply is not America or Capitalism.

All the wars that have been fought in this country, particularly the Civil War, were about maintaining the level of the rich. While slavery was an issue at the time, the idea of succession from the union and the effects it would have on commerce and trade were far more important, and actually resulted in the war. Since the states had the power to make their own laws slavery could have continued. But what would have happened to the workforce in the north or the industrial revolution, had this occurred? If history is honestly reviewed, not by the tainted way that it is presented in our schools textbooks, this would be obvious. But that is our dirty little secret and it plays better say Lincoln went to war to free the slaves.

Look at today's economy and our democracy and anyone can see that the country is more divided along these economical lines that be race. Race is an issue for blacks because they started below the Have Nots, and through the civil rights movement have been able to more "up" to the level of poor whites and even middle class. There are even those who are Haves. 

The key to America is that the founding fathers, who were Haves by the way, wrote the constitution and the bill of rights to say that "everyone" had the right, and could become a Have, here in this new country. Easily said and a great morale compass, but very hard to accomplish by many. Some say it is the individuals fault since the opportunity is there. But for many Have Nots the opportunity is not there, or has always been the case, the Haves will do anything in there power to prevent it and maintain their level of supremacy.

The One and Only

Over  this past year I unfortunately have been to three funerals. Two have been for white friends that I have worked with, and one black friend that I also worked with. All of the individuals have been in my age group and a few years younger than me. I think all of them passed before their time and with illnesses that came about suddenly. Two where from forms of cancer, and one from a massive heart attack.

All were what I consider to be good people. Open minded and had high character. I don't believe I every heard anyone say anything bad about them, and they seemed to have been like by all. I saw no racism or bigotry, and all we involved in their church. The funerals were well attended and many people paid their respects at the visitation.

The one thing that continues to stick with me is that even in 2015, my wife and I were the only African American people at the white funerals. Even in this day and age is it possible for individuals to have so little contact with people of color that such a disparity exists? As I worked my way up the corporate leader, it was not unusual to be the "only" minority at a meeting, conference, or on the job. As time went by more and more diversity occurred. But I was shocked back into reality at the funerals to the fact that we are still divided.

On the flip side, at the funeral of my African American friend there were several white mourners present. Is that because we are forced to reach out more to the majority and therefore have more contacts with them than they have with us? I guess until the minority becomes the majority these things will exist. We have school integration, fair housing laws, and sports to try and bring us together early on, but do those ties last throughout time? I think not. What will your funeral look like?

Quiet or Peace

There are  a lot of things on my mind today, I guess because there are a lot of issues to think about. Everyday I read or see another example of police misconduct or abuse. The case of Sandra Bland is now in the news, after dying in police custody, after a routine traffic stop escalated with the police. I recently saw a man who apparently had a stroke behind the wheel of his car, and was tased and then shot in the face with mace, for not responding to the officers commands.  Are the police so afraid or power crazed that these things will just continue to occur unchecked?

I have heard the slogan "black lives matter" many times. But all lives matter. And how is it that we can be so verbal about these type of incidents and the rate of murder between African Americans also grows exponentially. How can we not look at stopping those crimes as well as what the police do. Can we possibly believe that you should get a pass because of your race or your upbringing?

In America you may have the 1% versus the 99%. But you also have groups of people in every race that face the same dilemmas. There are those that are thriving. They are the people with the good jobs and are well of financially. They have "made it" in our society and can afford to do what they want basically when and where the want too. There are those that are striving. These are the people that get up everyday and go to work to try to get ahead. They go to school and try to better themselves so that someday they can or their children can thrive. Then there are the strugglers. I think this is the biggest group in America today. These people work but just can't seem to get ahead. They pay their bills but they have very little left over and many need a little assistance, whether it be from the government or someone else.Then there are the poor or the thugs. They have either given up or decided that working isn't worth it. They will steal and have little regard for the other groups. You can be poor without being a thug but you suffer considerably on a daily basis, in a society that values wealth, possessions, and education in that order.

There are many people out there trying to make change. When I see some of the groups in the media I have to wonder are we missing the boat. There are elders, who have been raised during the civil rights era still asking for change. Is it those people, both black and white, where the racism  resides? Is this the group where the economic woes are causing the problem? How do you get to those parents who are raising the generation that is now lost, including there own? Will there be a generation that will come that can break the cycle?

I heard someone say that today things were pretty quiet. There were no killing, no protests, no natural catastrophes. But just because things are quiet does not mean that there is peace.The world is a violent place, and many say the end is coming, maybe sooner that we think. It is only a matter of time before the next theater shooting, the next case of police brutality, the next time some disrespects our President, or someone is deprived of life, liberty, or the pursuit of happiness. We need to strive for peace in the Middle East, as well as all over the globe, including the USA.