Big Momma

I recently attended a recognition luncheon at my church to salute big mommas, the matriarchs of the family. Nominations had been submitted to our African American newspaper, The Louisville Defender, by family  members to recognize these impressive women who have been the backbone of their families and the community. During the ceremonies, where these women were recognized and awarded plaques and bouquets of roses, I thought of how times have changed.  I was glad I was able to be there and wished that my mother could have been there.

I remembered my big momma, who was my grandmother. Most big mommas in my day were grandmothers and they had some age on them. We were taught to respect our elders, because they had earned that right and we were just children, who really didn't know anything. Big momma told you how things were and you knew that she was in control of everything that went on in her house. If she told you to "close that door, you're  letting my heat out" or  "take that hat off in my house, you weren't born in a barn" you had better do it in a hurry. Big momma did not play. She was always there when times were tough to encourage you and tell you what you were capable of doing. Sometimes if you didn't have a big momma you could adopt one from one of your friends. Big mommas were glad to share with anyone who needed a little knowledge dropped on them. And you definitely could have more than one.

Today, part of our problem is that we are losing big momma. As our babies are having babies, some of our younger grandmothers now don't want to be called big momma. They also haven't learned the lessons that need to be passed on to their children to show them the way. In many cases those that have had to struggle now have to directly raise their grandchildren. Momma is now Pam and big momma is just called momma. Black or white, it is the spirit and the bond of a mother that shapes each of us. None us us should wait until we are old enough to understand the lessons that they tried to teach us, before we recognize them.

Remember, dead noses don't smell roses.