Who's really at the end of the line

Sometimes I just think about how blessed I am and all the people of our great country. I look around and see a home, a car, food, water, resources, and all the things that come with living in America. Even those who have very little have some much more that millions who live on this earth. The complaints and things which stress us out, make me sad when I look at the news ( on a TV by the way) or read a newspaper (not censored), or just look around.

I. remember a saying from my youth that went something like " I was sad I had no shoes until I meet a man who had no feet" or something of this nature. It seems that there is always someone who has it worst than you and that you could help. Even those in our impoverished inner cities or rural mountains, still have a life that many around the world would take over their own.

I see the victims of the earthquake in Tibet and I cannot imagine living in the conditions that now exist. I look at the middle east where bombings and war has left areas, which were once homes, businesses and historical buildings, in rumbles. People with nothing searching for an existence where no support exist, no water, no shelter, no electricity, and probably no hope. In Iraq people are forced into a life of suffering just because they are on the wrong side of religion or ideology. In Ukraine, due to the war the people there have been forced to camps with little or nothing to sustain them and the threat of death all around.

So I am blessed that I am not trying to reach another country on an overcrowded boat, with everything I own in a bag, only to be placed in a camp with limited resources, but "alive". The poorest friend I know is better off than any of these people. Hopefully every day for the remainder of my time on this earth I will appreciate all the blessings God has bestowed upon me. I know for sure, no matter how difficult things are, that I am never going to be at the end of the line. 

To Play or Not To Play

We recently had a key player on our college basketball program suspended from the team. He was out for unknown reasons for one game, which we lost, and came back the next game and helped us win. Now he has been dismissed from the team altogether.

The original info was that he had sent a threatening text message to a female that he was in an off and on relationship with. Around Valentines Day the young lady has waited for him till 3:00 in the morning and he hadn't shown. She then trashed his apartment which I assume resulted in the threatening text message. She took the message to campus security and filed a complaint indicated that she didn't want any action taken, but for someone to talk to him about his behavior.???

 The school says there is an ongoing investigation going on with player which could be the reason for the dismissal but they cannot comment. In the meantime the fact that the player does have some anger management problems have been identified in the past.

 My problem with this situation is two fold. First, the relationship with the young woman is a personal matter. Had the threat not been placed in text would it have been brought up. It appears that the young women was very upset and even admitted to messing up his apartment when he didn't come to meet her. People are now saying that he should have just let it go, but that is easier said than done, particularly when we are talking about personal relationships and young people. Who hasn't said harsh words during a stressful encounter. Nevertheless what does this have do with basketball? We're there team rules broken? Is there a morality cause for dealing with girlfriends or the opposite sex?

It appears that there is no privacy anymore. You can no longer have an argument with a female, whether in a relationship or not, which can not be construed as abusive or having the "potential" of being abusive. In this case my second point is this. If the dismissal was the result of this incident, shouldn't the college be concerned with "counseling" the player versus the ultimate "punishment" of removing him from the team, and sending him down a much darker path for the future. 

There may be more to the story that will come to light but it appears that there will be no winners based on the current situation.

Reading is Fundamental

During Black History Month the inevitable conclusion that education is the key to success in America is always a cornerstone of discussion. This fact has been known for generations. In fact African Americans as slaves were not allowed to learn how to read by penalty of death, and after slavery not given equal opportunity (if there is such a thing) to learn until the late 1960's.

The ability to read leads to power and always will . What does the power to vote mean if you cannot read the ballot. What kind of economic power can one have if they cannot read, write or add. Reading should be fun and fundamental. But our school system is failing this generation. As an African American baby boomer I was always pushed to read. I can vividly remember  having to go to the "Read Away Vacation Club" at the public library every summer during grade school. Books could be checked out and you received stars and rewards for reading so many books, and keeping track.

After WWII the black newspaper was where people went to find out information and what was going on in the black community. These were usually weekly papers and we looked forward to looking at them. These papers pushed the black agenda, but also showed the plight of the black community in terms of crime and punishment. I would read all the black magazines like Jet and Ebony. Today's  African American generation sees reading as a punishment instead of a privilege. We are no longer a race driven by the word as much as by electronic media.

We are bombarded with media such as television, radio and the most recently social media, such as Facebook, twitter, and Instagram. We get our news here which is skewed and in many cases incorrect. Many times I asked myself if social media is really learning, or just talking without purpose.

Every morning I still read the newspaper. Not digitally online, but the old fashion hard copy. I find it enjoyable, entertaining, and educational. One of my daughters boyfriend has taken up the banner of not having their baby immunized and home schooling him. He asked that the family understand his reasons, that immunization causes altruism and the school systems isn't teaching black history or proper fundamentals. He asked that we do our research before we went against him. I wanted to ask if he had done his research, for if he had, he would see there is much more information discrediting his reasons than not. However you, would have to take time to read to do this research. And while the public school system does not have a sterling record there are positives that can be found that cannot be replaced. Just because you are educated, doesn't make you a good teacher for your child. You have to be able to put in the work and the effort. The same goes for our teachers.

If we want our children to succeed they must learn and want to read. We have to read to them early on and make it enjoyable for them. We must be patient and help then and watch what they are doing in school. Once they fall behind or out of love with reading it is very hard to get back.

The Police

With all the events that have occurred in Ferguson Mo and New York City that deal with police using excessive force and the racism, I have been thinking a lot about this issue. More things come to mind than could ever be captured in this blog, but why not get some of them out.

I have come to the conclusion that for the most part if you deal with criminals and see the carnage that they bring on a day to day basis, you must either become conscience of what they can do to you, up to and including terminating your life, or you start to think that you have to demand respect and obedience from these people by whatever me,ans necessary. Yes there are good police, and bad police but I believe the majority of temp have become militarized in their thinking for policing the public. In other words you do exactly what I say, when I say it, or I will force you to respect my authority, regardless of the circumstances. The police have the upper hand on everyone. They can say that you resisted arrest (even if it is for no cause) or you were did not follow their instructions, making you disorderly.

In the 60's this was common place for African American men and that is why we always felt uncomfortable around the police. With the increase in crime and the fact that a large percentage of it is within the black community, this threat has escalated. While Michael Brown may have been a thug, it was not necessary for him to die at the hands of the police. The real reason he died was that he rejected the police authority to ask him to "get out of the street." Was this caused due to racism? Probably the aftermath had a lot to do with racism. But the main issue is that the police are scared, people of color are mad, and when those two come together the outcome is always bad.

The United States has a racial problem. Always has, since the pilgrims came to America and unfortunately always will. The question is how to make the racial divide as small as possible. Not only does America have a racial problem it also has a gun and violence problem. This too is deeply engrained in our society. The  second amendment gave America the right to bear arms. This was initially for the militia to protect the country from foreign countries and also to allow them to fight to acquire more land. We have always had guns and as the country grew, hand guns versus rifles/muskets were developed. These were to shoot people, not for hunting. In the wild, wild west everyone had a gun to protect themselves and their property. That didn't work out very well in a country that was supposed to be run by "laws". But now the gun lobbyist would have us believe that we should go back to that. Well the criminals have them and they use them to break the laws, and the police have had to gear up to keep up. John Q public also thinks they need to be strapped.

Our justice system is in compete disarray and for the most part is broken. It is still the best in the world, but due to the way it is being implemented we have the highest incarceration rate in the civilized world. And those that are the most disadvantaged are the ones that bear the brunt of this. The people of color are at the low end of the economic scale and at the high end of the jail cells. The only way to turn that around is the continue to try and level the playing field. The system will let a convicted murderer out, or a known repeat felon to commit more crimes, while at the same time will spend time trying to convict an African American women who shot into her ceiling to scare off her abusive boyfriend.

As I watch things on social media it is clear that the police are mad too. I see police excessive force not only with African Americans but also with Hispanics, women, and even some poor whites. We see police who are afraid and shoot children. I've seen police actually beat a suspect in a wheelchair, who could not possibly pose any threat. Those that have some mental problems are treated with disdain and many times brutalized. Yes there are police that risk their lives to protect people, but at the same time they also support those who use excessive force, because they know their fears.

Our country is at war. A war between the haves and the have nots, the police against the criminal. And there are those who believe what Spike Lee said, "Do the right thing", versus trying to set criminal laws for everything that occurs in society.  America is trying to forget "In God We Trust"

Listening

Over the years I have tried to develop a very important skill.... the ability to listen. This is a skill that needs to be worked upon and does not just come naturally. Most people can "hear" very well but may not actually "listen" to things as they are being said. My wife, who I love dearly, is a prime example.

On many occasions I say things to my wife, which I believe may be of interest, or at least might provide some information.  What I have found is that in most cases my wife's mind is in a completely different place at the time and while it appears that she heard what I said, she wasn't really listening. She was either formulating a response in advance or she starts talking to me about something completely off the topic. Sometimes she will acknowledge haring what I said but later she will bring to my attention the same thing I had told her earlier.

Listening is great. It allows you to learn, get information, and then reflect upon what has been said. Because people tend to want to be right, they spend most of their time developing their thoughts to say what they want, or develop a rebuttal they don't receive the message that someone else is sending to them. I found in the business world this can be very detrimental. I once supervised a key account representative, whose major flaw was that he didn't listen to his customers. He was constantly interrupting them to state "his" position. He never listened close enough to find out what the real objections to his presentations were.

I think part of our national problem, particularly in government, is the inability to listen. Everyone is pushing their agenda or they are bent of opposing the opposition that actual listening cannot occur. I have learned that wisdom comes from knowing that you do not know everything, and that there is always someone that can do something better than you.

Retirement

After working 22 years with a major tobacco manufacturer and working my way up from sales rep to the first Area VP of Sales I was unceremoniously offered early retirement due to company downsizing. All good, I was in my forties and would start collecting my pension early at age fifty. I moved on and obtained employment as VP of Sales for the Kentucky Lottery Corporation. I worked there for almost twenty years, achieving records sales on a consistent bases. However, as the direction of the company began to change and what I felt was a lack of confidence by upper management I decided it was time for me to leave. I checked with my financial planner who said I had enough funding set aside to retire comfortably. So at 65 I find myself retired once again.

 

My wife is happy with this decision. She was not rehired by the school board after being assigned to an inner city school, which provided little opportunity for her to achieve success, due to lack of resources and commitment. She never got started and when she asked to be relieved they terminated her versus transferring her. Anyway, that is another story. We now spend time together working on home projects, visiting new restaurants, and attending to the day to day drama of our children and grand children.

 

People have asked me what am I doing or plan to do in retirement and I tell them that I don't have any plans. Right now I am enjoying not getting up every morning and driving to a place of work. I can leisurely get up, have my coffee and read the morning paper. I have been working on a bathroom remodeling project, which I'm sure would not have been possible if I were still working. My major task is to make my wife happy. We have been on two trips so far, one to  Florida and one to Punta Cana, in the Dominican Republic. I can tell that my wife is anticipating many more trips in our future.

 

I guess the major problem for me is to make sure I can find productive things to do with my time. I don't play golf, so I guess walking and getting into a gym will be important moving forward, for my physical health. It has been 5 months since taking the plunge and so far I have been engaged and I am enjoying my retirement. Perhaps writing something in this blog regularly will become a part of my routine moving forward.

Trying to Teach

My wife recently embarked on a new career. At 55 she decided that she wanted to be a school teacher. She applied for an accelerated certification program, since she already had a Masters Degree in Media Communications, and was accepted. The course work was difficult and demanded hours of time both during the day and in the evenings. She got assigned to a relatively new and progressive school for her training, or as I called it, her internship. She enjoyed the work and I tried to support her as much as possible. When it came time to take the certification test she thought she was ready, but she did not pass. She was crushed but was determined to pass on her next attempt. She continued to study and participate in professional development programs over the summer. She did pass on her second attempt but her results did not come prior to the start of the next school year. Once the results were in she applied for a position within the district. Here is where things got interesting.

She was given the opportunity to apply for a position at a school located in what may be considered the inner city in her home of Louisville, KY. She talked with the principle who told her that it was a pretty hard my position and that she was looking for a strong applicant to work with the students and the parents. Needless to say my wife is a "strong" African American female. She has raised three girls of her own and had a great experience with classroom control the previous year. She got the job and was very excited about starting. Things then started to fall.

 First the school was downtown and in an area were parking was limited. People informed her that she would need to park in an alley way and that she should be very careful about going to her car alone or staying late. She met with some of the teachers in her group, which was for 3rd graders and asked about support.  Basically she was told she was on her own. The second day she found out that the school did not have a computer for her to use. This really hurt since that was the manner she used to develop lesson plans and worked with children, based on her training. The class had 21 students which she would need to manage on her own. There were no desks, just a few tables. On the third day she actually met her students. The substitute that had been working with them had quit. The students were out of control. You could see that they were not used to any structure  and were not very interested in paying attention. My wife asked for some support and the Assistant Principle came to  her aid. However, she soon saw that he had no better luck with them than she had. There were  fights to be broken up and the day was spent trying to manage the kids behavior versus teaching them. My wife me home in tears. She told me she just couldn't go back and it was just too much for her. We talked and ending up deciding that she contact the principle and write a letter

informing her that she didn't think she could handle the situation there and that it would not be a good match for her as a new teacher .

After this she heard nothing form the school system for a couple of weeks which I thought was strange. What we eventually found out was that when my wife resigned from that position, that the district felt that she had resigned her employment with them totally. This was something that surprised me since her letter and conversations all indicated that my wife wanted to be a teacher, but felt that this assignment was not viable for her or the district. As a corporate executive I find this odd considering all the time and effort that went into training her. Surely the district had openings in other schools that her training could be used? However that is the case. We have a school district with very low graduation rates, poor elementary education scores in both math and science, and that spends time looking at analysis of the situation, but not on addressing the problems. Perhaps it is just the large bureaucracy in the district, or the need to look at a way to improve those schools that are failing, or a lack of parental support, but our schools are failing. 

Teacher like my wife and others that go through schooling to become teachers are disillusioned when they do get hired and have to work in conditions that restrict them. They become more baby sitters or social workers than educators. African American teachers are even harder to find as they feel like the deck is stacked against them even when their hearts and minds are in the right place. The tenured teachers move on without the needed upgrades to their teaching skills and don't want these troubled children that this generation has spawned. Our children are in a desperate downward spiral that starts earlier and earlier. Preschool programs are being cut and effective parenting is at a low level. This is not just and African American problem, but with the poor economy it affects all races.However, it affects those in the lowest economical groups the most.

My wife is still not teaching. She is considering trying to apply at a private or Catholic school district. However, some of her peers have indicated that the district here has blacklisted individuals in the past and blocked them from getting positions in other districts. Why and what this would accomplish I don't know.  She is doing some volunteer teaching assistance at the school she worked at last year with the hopes that maybe something will become available there and the principle would request that she get the position. It is a long shot at best but she does get to work with the children and "teach".