Beauty's Only Skin Deep

As everyone knows, men and women are very different. One of the places where the difference is visible is in maintenance. Most women are high maintenance, while most men are low maintenance. One way to point this out is to just look at what is on the vanities in the bathroom. My wife is a beautiful women, both with or without make up. I definitly married up in regards to looks. But here is the comparison between us:

On my vanity in the bathroom are the following items: Toothpaste, tooth brushes, razor, deodorant, body lotion, Advil, after shave, shaving cream, hand sanitizer, Tums, powder, tough acting Tenactin for my athletes foot, nail clippers, Bio Freeze for my aches and pains, and fish oil pills for my daily omega 3. Not a bad assortment and enough to reasonably get me ready to start my day.

Now, let's take a look at what is on my wife's vanity (keep in mind that she has the larger one of these for obvious reasons)  : Nail polish, nail polish remover, Lubriderm daily moisture lotion, antiseptic skin cleanser,bubble bath, whitening strips, contact lens and cases, one magnifying mirror, bars of soap, cold cream, floss, toothpaste, tooth brushes, multipurpose eye solution, alcohol, jewelry, jewelry cleaner, Neutrogena oil free moisturizer, hair brush, combs, cotton balls, Q tips, clear pore cleaner/mask, sun block, witch hazel, oil eliminating astringent, hand & body wash, razor, tweezers, eyebrow pencils, assorted lip stick, fashion lashes, assorted finger nail polishes, assorted perfumes, Vaseline, nail files, nail clippers, and five different Optimun hair care treatments.

Now, I know that this is only a partial list of things used. Since I don't know what half of these things were used for, I didn't venture into the drawers, the night stand, dresser or the guest bathroom looking for more. I would venture to say that the findings would be eye opening. 

Hot Math

Last week our grand daughter called and said that she was having some problems with her homework. I asked her which class and she said Algebra 1. Well it has been over forty years since I've done any algebra but I said I would give it a shot. She read me the problem, but I couldn't visualize what it was asking for. I asked her if she had anything in her book she could refer to, or if she had just not been listening in class. She said that the teacher had told the class that if they had problems they could go to the Internet for help. The bad news is that where my grand daughter lives they don't have the Internet, cable, or a computer able to get it. I asked her for the site and she said go to Hotmath.com. 

Things now got interesting. I went to the site and it asked me what book I was using. So I asked my grand daughter and she gave me the name of the textbook  she was using. Sure enough it was there. After clicking on it the next question was what page and which problem. I entered the page number and the problem number I got from Makayla and sure enough it showed me the problem in writing just as she had read it to me. It then said that I could get the answer to the problem by logging in as a member. To get the answer for the problem it would cost me $54 to sign up. I could see that some answers were "free" but this wasn't one of them. I could also get video tutoring for $17.

So it has come to this. What students don't learn in school they can buy the answers if they have the money. Not only is this available but it is told to the students by the teachers. Does this mean that if they can't get it done they can just let the Internet do it for them? Anyway, those that have the money can assist their kids with this extra help, if that is what you want to call it, while those without the finances have to fend on their own. You learn that in economics class.

Unfortunately, I didn't think that buying the answers was a good idea, so I told Makayla to see if she could make friends with the smartest person in her class, and get some free tutoring. Second option would be to ask the teacher if she could explain it again, and third but not least, reread the information leading up to the problem until it possibly made sense.

Discipline

Recently I watched one of my daughters as she attempted to discipline her son, who is three years old. Sam is a happy go lucky child that I have labeled as the "Rapper". This is because always saying things in a language all his own. It solds like rap, and by the look on his face I can only imagine that he has the whole lyrical verse in his head. Anyway, Sam is a runner. He runs from his mother and everyone else.To him it is all a game as his mother constantly runs after him. Never spanking him or scolding him so that he learns that this behavior is unacceptable, and if nothing else dangerous.

As a kid I remember being disciplined alot. I rremember hearing my mother say "this hurts me more that it hurts you" as she whooped my butt. I really couldn't figure out how that could be at time, but now I think I do. Discipline as a noun means "training intended to produce a specified character or pattern of behavior" and also "punishment intended to correct or train". It hurt my mother to punish me, but she knew she had to train me. Most young children left without this training will normally do the wrong things. A young child will normally take whatever they want. It doesn't  care who it belongs it to, how valuable is, or if it may be harmful. They just know they want it. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Now what I have heard alot of from young parents today is that "they don't want their children to go through what they went through." To this I answer, "some things are meant to go through." If you don't experience the consequences of making wrong choices, you will continue  to make them. One must have discipline to succeed in life. If children do not learn to listen to their parents correct them, and neglect their instruction they will never fully learn to respect any kind of authority. This is clearly evident in the conditions of our schools where teachers find it hard to be respected and listened to by their students. Proverbs 19:18 says "Discipline your children while there is hope, otherwise you will ruin their lives".

Discipline is doing what you don't want to do in order to do what you want to do. We all need it, young and old. Discipline is learning not to run from your mother in the mall like you want, so that you can go swimming at the pool later. Discipline is not eating that chocolate dessert that you really want , because you want to go out and show off your new figure at the party. Discipline is not buying that stylish new car you want, so you can remodel the kitchen. Even our government needs discipline particularly with our finances. Discipline would have been not giving everybody a mortgage they couldn't afford so they could be home owners, so we could have lower unemployment and closer to a balanced budget today.

Feed the Children

I can remember what my mother used to say to me and my brothers when we wouldn't eat some of the great food she cooked for us like liver, black eyed peas, or spinach. "That's good food, eat it, there are children starving in Africa and they would love to have that food." One of the worst head slaps I received was the one and only time that I said "give it to them then."

The morale of the story though is that we live in the richest country in the world ,and I should have been grateful for whatever meals I received. This hit me hard last night as I watched the evening news and saw the starving and dying children in Somalia. I actually felt ashamed for the huge lunch that I had that day now knowing that others were starving in such staggering numbers. It is only by the grace of God that I was born here in America and not there.

 It also angered me to see the news media there now, when more than 40,000 children would die from starvation and a refugee camp the size of Cleveland in the dessert, without food, water, shelter and with little hope. Where were they when the drought was occurring for over two years, and the civil war has been raging for a decade, and thousands of lives have been lost? While America has fought and spent billions of dollars on the war in Iraq, based on a false premise and ego, it has turned a blind eye on this type of suffering. Were these people's rights less violated here than there? Or was it because there is nothing to be gained in the form of oil, minerals, or leverage. And last but not lease is it because these are people of color? Does our country's moral compass  not extend to Africa as it does the Middle East ?

So the media will now try to bring attention to this desperate situation, in the hopes that ordinary people or any civilian organization with financial means will help. Even the poorest of us is better off that these forgotten people, mostly women and children, and no matter how bad it gets I will never forget that.

Install in Four Easy Steps- Right

 I have been a home owner most of my adult life and the DIY Network is like the Disney Channel to me. I have done my share of painting, kitchen, and bathroom jobs over the last thirty five years and I can proudly say that none of them were ever as easy as any of the shows or commercials on TV.The only show that I can truly believe is When Renovations Go Bad. Doing jobs around the house for me is like putting toys together at Christmas time. Sometimes it works, but most of the time there is always either a part missing or it doesn't fit. 

This weekend the task at hand was to repair the dripping faucet at my wife's sink in our master bathroom

Keep in mind that have been avoiding this job for almost a year and for good reason. First  I remembered how long it took me put these faucets in several years ago. However, after doing everything I could to control the drip (including putting an aspirin bottle under the handle to keep it tight) my wife could take no more. Plus she had seen them on sale at Home Depot.

So off we went. Upon making it to Home Depot there was the usual delay caused by trying to pick out the proper faucet. The one on sale was definitely not the quality desired. It also needed to be an American Standard brand since one of the shows she had watched said that it was a good brand and parts were easy to find. I just wanted to  get out of there with something easy to install and didn't cost over $100. We settled on the single control American Standard faucet with speed control drain (some new device, but it had fewer parts) for $75. The box said easy to install in fifteen minutes and four easy steps.

Home we went. I got out all the necessary tools, read the instructions and went to work. Since we have an older home the first thing I noticed was that my plumbing did not look like the plumbing in the diagram. I'm sure this has happened to all of us. My wife was kind enough to pull up a demonstration of an install on her phone to walk me through it step by step. The only problem was that she was watching and listening while I was under the sink trying to unscrew mounting nuts that were either old or were just to tight. The instructions didn't note that I had to replace the old copper supply lines or  that the old drain pipe would not fit.

All this time my wife was feeling quite sorry for me and would ask from time to time if there was anything she could do to help. Of course since there was only room for one of us under the sink this was very practical. At one point she even said, let's stop and finish tomorrow. But my male ego kicked in and I continued with even more determination. Finally two hours later the job was done and water was again running freely with no drips.

I cleaned up and was proud of my work. My wife was also happy that the drip had been fixed. She thanked  me, even while telling me that the faucet was not master bathroom quality. Which meant in wife speak that she didn't like it, and it would soon have to be replaced. I looked wearily at my bathroom sink with terrible realization that I now will need to replace it so that it matches the one she has. Since I really don't want nothing for myself I may be able to postpone this inevitable act of cruelty.

Listen Up

 One of the things I try to tell my salespeople is that they need to listen to what their customers are saying. What I see most of the time is that they will interrupt or talk over a customer when they think they have the answer. It's like they are on Jeopardy and want to buzz in first.

 While the customer is talking they are already formulating in their mind what their response is going to be. Therefore they do not take the time to actually analyze what the customer is saying about what they need. Soon we have a game show going on to see who gets the last word in or makes the last point. Many of us are so preoccupied on getting what we want, we forget that if you help someone get what they want, you'll probably get more than you originally imagined.

I have tried to apply this concept at home, and it has proven to be just as successful there. If you are willing to truly listen to what your partner is saying you will find out what they need. This two way communication is critical for a solid relationship.  The one stumbling block I have is that sometimes my wife isn't really listening to me at all. Have you ever seen the television show where you can hear what the character is thinking, and they show someone else talking, but with no sound? That's the way it happens here sometimes. I may be talking but nobody is listening. My wife is on to the next thought or project in her mind. Fortunately I'm usually saying anything very important on those occasions, I'm not looking for the sale, and she has already bought the merchandise. 

A Man Named Somebody

Like any couple my wife and I have arguments. Fortunately very few of them are serious and most of the time we can make fun of ourselves and laugh about them later. Lately my wife has come up with a new way to press her point without causing an argument.

 First thing you must keep in mind is that we are currently empty nesters. It is only the two of us here in the house. So, let's assume my wife is disturbed about something; let's say the room temperature, lights  being left on, or any multitude of things. What she will now say is "Somebody left the lights on, or Somebody didn't take out the trash, or somebody didn't clean  the lint filter in the dryer. Well, I think you get the picture.

So I asked her "Who is Somebody?" She smiles and said "I didn't say you." I smiled and answered "I know because I didn't do it." This dance goes on for a little while each time, whether it's me telling her, "Somebody did it", or her telling me "Somebody did it". For the most part "Somebody" normally learns from the error of his/her ways and things move on happily ever after (until Somebody messes up again).

The moral of this story can be quoted from the Rev. Jessie Jackson.... "I am Somebody!"