Trumped

I have resisted writing all the things I feel about our current President and the state of our country. However, after being bombarded daily with the soap opera that is occurring it is difficult. Our country has been trumped, conned, and bamboozled by an individual who is narcissist with a superiority complex, and the power obtained by money and entitlement. 

 

Our President may love our country because of the wealth and power that it has allowed him to obtain. Many feel that he is the poster child of what we need to be successful as a country. But I truly believe that his intent when running for the presidency was to improve his position and that of his family. Even if he didn't win, he still would win because of publicity and the contacts made. It was a surprise to him and a great number of us that he won. However, when you appeal to those who have lost faith in the current government and believe that a new approach is necessary, I understand.

 

We now have a President who really shows no moral compass and who has been shown to have racial bias, misogyny, and xenophobia. Like an Egyptian pharaoh he has taken his position on the throne, as he sees it, to rule over his subjects. Those who are not loyal are punished and those who do not agree or challenge him are removed. The Hebrews, or the immigrants are getting to big in numbers and they must be stopped. This especially gets for the dreamers. It is easy for me as a black man to understand how there can be so many Americans who agree. They feel when the minorities increase and win, they lose.

 

This President knows nothing about diplomacy or the way of government. He does not intent to learn. Just wing it and throw out ideas based on talking to his friends and family, non of whom have the total picture of the economy or the world. A man who says things that any other  politician would be scorned for, or lose their position. An adulterer, who has openly bragged about his activities. A President who has inserted nepotism into the white house with no conscience about it at all.

 

Some people that I know, including my step daughter think that this person is the one to lead us. Their belief that the government is so corrupt , that a man who tells it like it is, won't back down, and who only wants to win at any cost to others (beside his followers) will make America great again.  They turn a blind eye to things that would have gotten others crucified. I can't imagine how this would have played out for President Obama. These are the things that many white Americans felt might happen with a black president.

 

  I only hope that our democracy can survive. Many have not, as this type of governing leads to the downfall of many. In God I trust if we do not.

Messiah Trap

This month will mark my 20th wedding anniversary with my wonderful wife. It hardly seems possible and doesn't feel like that much time has passed. We are a couple of opposites, with her being an extrovert and me being an introvert. Our zodiac signs don't match (if you are into that type of thing), she is a Capricorn and I am an Aries. She is very biased, opinionated, and for the most part pessimistic about things. I am reflective, with a lot of self speak, and normally willing to look at the positive side of things and not feel that people have ulterior motives for "all" their actions.With that being said I love my wife very much. She is my lover, sustainer, and my best friend. My most satisfying time are seeing or making her smile and laugh.

The one thing I have learned in these twenty years was not to try and figure her out. She is who she is, and I am not a psychoanalyst. I recently read a book written by Carmen Renee Berry, who is one, called "When Helping You Is Hurting Me." It did give me a great deal of insight into my wife and the fact that she is caught in what Ms Berry calls the Messiah Trap.

There are two sides to the trap. Side one is when a person has the feeling that" If I don't do it, it won't get done." And side two is when they feel "everyone else's needs take priority over mine." The reason one has these feeling can be traced back to one's childhood. My wife experienced many of the underlying causes. Through the childhood trauma she learned 1.) No one will protect us. If we are to be safe, we have to rely on ourselves and 2.) adults are more important then children. We have to devise hidden rather than overt ways to protect ourselves.

There are different types of Messiahs. I found that I too had some of the Messiah traits. But I did not feel as responsible for other people to the magnitude where I was trapped by actions. There are Pleasers who feel responsible for other peoples happiness, Givers feel responsible for other people's material needs, Protectors feel responsible for people' safety, Rescuers feel responsible for other people's crises, Counselors feel responsible for other peoples problems, Teachers feel responsible for other people understanding their lives, and Crusaders feel responsible for ensuring justice in other peoples lives. My wife seems to match all of these with the exception of Crusader.

I think because of unresolved pain in my wife's childhood she developed the eight characteristics evident in most Messiahs.1.) Tries to earn a sense of worth by acting worthy, 2)Lets others determine her actions,3)Needs to overachieve,4)Is attracted to helping those with similar pain, 5)Experiences difficulty in establishing peer and intimate relationships, 6.)Is caught in isolation, 7)Is driven to endless activity, and 8) Stops only when she drops.

We are slowly breaking out of the trap knowing that you cannot save everyone and that she must take time for herself. We have date night, take time to go to movies from time to time and try to have a relaxing dinner at a nice restaurant at least once a week. She is no longer a school teacher, which was pulling her heavily into the trap,and we have begun to allow our children and older grandchildren to make their own mistakes as a part of their lives. It is a battle for both of us but it is journey that we can handle "together".

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a  national holiday celebrated in Canada, the United States, some Caribbean islands, and Liberia, Yes Liberia, which is a country, colonized, and controlled by citizens of the United States and ex Caribbean slaves as a colony for former African American slaves and their free black descendants. (Some history for you). It began as a day of giving thanks for the blessing of harvest and of the preceding year. In 1621 the Plymouth colonists and the Wampanoag Indians shared an autumn harvest feast together. Based on what happened after this I don't see this as a day the Indians have any cause to celebrate now.

 

The date has been established over time to celebrate our blessings even while very little attention has been placed of where these blessing come from. Since we have long pasted the agricultural revolution, Thanksgiving has been transformed into a time to regroup for the year with family and friends around a feast of food. It has been almost moved to a  second tier holiday since it hasn't been able to be fully commercialized. Many consider it the "kick off" to the Christmas holiday period. While it has it's parades and family traditions, the day after is almost as celebrated as "black Friday".

 

This is one the few instances in American society where the term "black" is used as a positive. In most every other instance black is considered bad or ominous, while white is considered good or bright. In a society where the all mighty dollar is king, "being in the black" means success and prosperity. This is the time of year where capitalist pull. Out all the stops to win customers and increase sales. This is the time win people will spend money they don't have, to buy things they don't want or need, to impress people they don't know or even like.

But since life is never the way we hope or dream it should be, Thanksgiving should be a time to thank God for all the blessings we have. While we should give him thanks every day, for each and every day, the Thanksgiving Holiday should  be a day to regroup, no compare what we have to others, and rely on Gods power to help be content in whatever condition we may be in life.

With that said I offer this prayer:

Thank you, Lord, for the blessings You have bestowed on my life.
You have provided me with more than I could have ever even imagined.
You have given me family and friends who bless me every day with kind words and actions.
They lift me up in ways that keep my eyes focused on You and make Mt spirit soar.
Thank you, Lord.
In Your name, Amen.

Recidivism

I recently read an article on recidivism. This a word I had never heard of before, but after reading the article by Lottie Joiner I felt I knew a lot about. The definition of recidivism is "the act of a person repeating an undesirable behavior after they had either experienced negative consequences of that behavior, or had been trained to extinguish that behavior." It is also used to refer to the percentage of former prisoners who were rearrested for a similar offense.

 In the U.S., men, women, and children get caught in a cycle of incarceration at rates that exceed nearly all other nations, and a broken justice system doesn't help most start over and rebuild their lives. Our country, which routes itself as a nation of laws, has more offenses (over 300,000), that are ,considered a crime and will land you in jail, and any other nation in the world. We have the harshest sentences and the system is geared to work on the front end. That means the jails are cramed full of people. However, when these people get out there is nothing in the system to help change their behavior and contrary to logic they are extremely penalized, therefor not being able to move forward in society.

 After release they their criminal record prevents them from getting affordable housing, a job with a living wage, and legal restrictions make it almost impossible for them to rebuild their lives. The statistic are stacked heavily against African American men and women. Incarcerated kids become incarcerated adults. Trapped in a downward spiral, and learning the lessons of how to survive in jail and then on the streets once released. The system invested almost nothing on these individuals once they are released and they are left to their own means to figure it out.

As an African American I would venture to say that almost every black family in American has someone either in their family or close to it that either has been or is currently incarcerated. Is the system rigged? Yes !!!!! Those in power, with wealth and resources hold this system over minorities as a way to marginalize, exploit and subordinate the weaker group. Those laws set up under the pretext of a "war on drugs" where meant just for that purpose. Drugs were criminalized for that purpose. However, now that opioids have struck middle American and the majority (white) population, it is not a crime but an epidemic. We have survivor and mental health professionals, along with money to try and save these addicts. Unlike the black and brown addicts of the past.

Anyway, I digress. Addressing social problems, not continuing to put people in jail, will help decrease recidivism.

Guns,Guns,Guns

Once again there has been a mass shooting in America. This time by a 64 year old man, retired and well off, with no motive in sight. Nearly 60 people were killed and almost 500 injured as he used automatic weapons to shoot indiscriminately into a crown of concert goers in Las Vegas. Once again he took the easy way out and killed himself prior to being captured, leaving us with nothing but questions into why he had committed this evil deed.

 

Once again the debate goes out about when will we do something about gun control in this country, which has more guns and gun shootings/murders than any other civilized nation in the world. There are those that say you cannot stop this kind of evil, and it is not the guns causing the problem but the people who commit these events.  They say that any government legislation would be unconstitutional because it would go against the all reverent Second Amendment. That sacred  amendment that allows all citizens to bear arms.

 

To them I say that the second amendment was written when this nation was being formed and allowed the citizens of this new founded republic to bear arms against a corrupt government through the means of a measured militia. I believe in that right. I believe that we have a military for that cause and also a civilian auxiliary force caplet of keeping that promise. I do not believe that the founding fathers meant for every man, woman, and child to have a piece of equipment designed for the act of war and the sole purpose of killing each other.

 

I have no problem with individuals having guns designed for self protection or hunting, but we have opened  the door for citizens, both criminal and law abiding alike, to purchase weapons of human destruction with little concern for who and how they are used. Universal background checks won't stop all the possibilities for mass shootings but would be a start. A person needs to renew his/her drivers license but no their gun permit. You need a permit to fish but not to buy a gun. While changes like these to the system will not stop the killings they will surely slow them down.

 

The place to start though is the gun manufacturers. Seeing that we live in a capitalistic society these companies are all about profits and selling more guns, not less. As with anything in America, you should always follow the money to find the root cause or solution to a problem. I would venture to say that the NRA and its member companies make more guns than any other country in the world. And you would think that selling military grade guns to our military and the militaries of our allies would be enough. It isn't!!! They would like it if everyone was strapped like in the old west. This is their idea of protecting us from each other, while they get rich. The bad news is many of us believe the same thing. I often wonder why and how the idea of every cowboy having a pistol was overcome. Could it be to institute some semblance of law and order.

 

Again, to repeat, I do not want to eliminate guns, or take away peoples rights to have them for protection, hunting , or enjoyment. I just think we can do it in a more responsible way, thinking about the moral cost instead of the profit. Those manufacturers who I refer to will say they have a legitimate business, and the right to sell as many and whatever kind of weapons they like. They would be right. The tobacco industry said the same thing until society said you are killing people, and we will regulate and control you to try and reduce the killing.

Grandparents Day

Yesterday was September 10th on the calendar and was indicated as Grandparents Day. Of course you have to old school and have a printed paper calendar to see this. I don't know who designated this day to celebrate grandparents, but it must have been someone important. Since all my grandchildren probably have never used a printed calendar  as opposed to their cell phone, none of them (or their parents) where aware of this important day. Therefore we did not receive a single shout out let alone a card. That is to be expected since the card makers, particularly Hallmark, do not promote this holiday with specialty cards like mothers day and fathers day.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want nothing for myself, but my wife deserved better, considering all she has done for the children and their kids. I don't blame them, it is just a function of the commercialized society we live in. If there's no money to be made there is nothing to promote. September 11th is also a special day. As we honor all the people who died from the horrific terrorist attack sixteen years ago. Each year we recognize those who lost their lives including the many first responders. This is marked on my printed calendar as Patriots Day with, but I doubt if people call it that. To most everyone it is just 9/11.

I'm sure as I visit my calendar I will find many days designated to events and ideas which have been forgotten or need to be renewed. Both grandparents and those first responders help to keep our country strong.

I'm exhausted

Watching television and the events of the world are "exhausting." Primarily keeping up with the President and the soap opera that's going on at the White House is very tiring. Last month alone there must have been a new story or "breaking news" each day.

There is the never ending story of the Russian collusion story, including both Trump's son and son-in-law, along with a cast of others  from the campaign. Each day something new turns up or some new deflection. A major event was the white supremacist rally in Charlottsville, which was supposedly based on the debate about removing confederate statues. With neo Nazi's and Klu Klux Klan members in the ranks, violence erupted   and am innocent woman was killed, along with two state troopers who were in a helicopter there for crowd control. The woman was run down along with several other anti white supremacist protesters by one of the racist  protesters. In the aftermath of this tragedy our President waffled back and forth his message about the event. Reading a written statement which anyone could see was not heartfelt he denounced the Nazi's and Klan. But off script he said there were good people in the group and that the anti Nazi protesters were also violent.

When rebuked for this he went on the defense. A few days later with another tirade about the situation and the fact that there were good people there. Not willing to irrevocably denounce that those in the protest were in no way representative of who we are as a country. He spoke of protecting the statues as if it was the main issue when it was clearly racism. After a confrontation with the press he went on to express that it is the fake news that is "picking" on him and in some way is responsible for misrepresenting him. In a campaign rally the next week this came out clearly with more falsehoods about what had happened and what had been said.

Other  breaking news included the proclamation by the President that transgender individuals will no longer be allowed to join the military. The pardon of the Arizona sheriff ( Joe, that's all the ink I will give him) who openly practiced racial profiling and the detaining of Hispanics. The court ordered him to stop the practice and he refused. He was then sited for contempt of court. Now keep in mind that there hadn't even been a trial or sentencing. So he was pardoned before he was ever sentenced or served any time. That was just a message to say that the President felt that he was doing "his job" in the way he felt appropriate, and forget the law and the judges. Oh by the way alt right strategist Steve Bannon is out at the White House (what). 

The government also needs to set a budget to keep running and a debt ceiling. The President is threatening not to sign anything that does not provide money for the "wall" between Mexico, which he originally said Mexico was going to pay for (LOL) . On top of all this North Korea is acting a fool  and launching missiles just for the hell of it and the country has just had the most catastrophic natural event, Hurricane Harvey, in modern times. Billions of dollars in flood damages in Texas and Louisiana, tens of thousands of homes destroyed and citizens in shelters. The sacrifices they will now endure and the lives lost is almost overwhelming. 

This is not all of it and just one month. I am watching a great nation crumble before my eyes. I'm exhausted