Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

Recently my paster,  Dr Kevin W Cosby, of St Stephen Church, preached a sermon about how to deal with life's crazy makers. Dr. Cosby is the best preacher I have ever been fortunate to hear preach and he constantly strengthens my faith in God and the knowledge that I am saved by grace alone.

As he preached about being foolish and allowing yourself to be bewitched the line in the song,for which I do not know the name, floated through my mind, along with the many experiences in my life. Had I been charmed,  mesmerized, and fascinated by  another person through flattery, false promises or misleading information? Sure I had. The key thing that we should all know is that people will say they love you but they can be using you. The way to tell is take away whatever you are providing to the other person and see how it affects the relationship. If things change they were probably using you.

Air

Yesterday I looked at the tire on my car and noticed that it was low. With gas prices up to $4 a gallon a I knew that proper tire air pressure is essential for better mpg, so I decided to stop at the gas station ( I mean convenience store with gas, since there are very few gas stations anymore) to get some air. I was amazed to find the air hose attached to a unit that said $1, insert all quarters. I couldn't believe that now you had to pay to get air. Had things gotten that bad? How much air would I get for a dollar? Could I do all four tires? 

I looked in my pocket and car and  could only come up with two quarters, so I went on a journey for free air. After stopping at two other  convenience store the best I could find was $.75 for air. Rather than spending $2 in gas driving around I went home. The next day as I went pass the convenience store I saw an amazing thing. A woman pulled up to the air hose, got out and pushed a button on the speaker and then was able too get air. I followed her lead and sure enough the clerk came on the speaker and said she would turn on the air for me. So air is still free in some places, you just have to ask. I wonder how many people are fooled like me? Maybe nobody. I really didn't want anything for myself except a little air.

Temperature Control

Let's have a little talk about temperature control, particularly as it relates to you and your significant other. First keep in mind that neither of you will ever be at the same temperature in any place at any time. If you are hot she will probably be cold and vice versa. Also extremes are not looked upon in the same way. What you might consider as a reasonable decline or increase in temperature may result in the following " I'm freezing" or "I'm burning up" from your mate. I know women are wired differently from men and are subject to the infamous hot flash, therefore I must make allowances for these.

Now, if you are in the car be sure to have ventilation which can be controlled independently for both driver and passenger. This is a must. You must be able to endure blasts of cold air conditioning or intense heat depending both on the temperature inside and outside of the vehicle. Remain calm and look to casually adjust your vents to reduce sweating and frost bite.

Remember that the thermostat in the home should belong to the woman of the house. If you are not aware of this you will be bombarded with a constant chatter about either making adjustments. It is very seldom on the proper setting for comfortable living. I some cases for example the air conditioning will be turned up on a relatively hot day, only to have you come home to find you mate wrapped up in a blanket on the couch.

This is also the case for the bedroom and the infamous cover tug of war. Once you are in the bed it begins. First the sheets are cold. Then you warm them up and after a few moments it becomes unbearably hot, so they are tossed off and the ceiling fan turned on.  However, later in the evening, a cold wave moves in and the covers slowly inch their way off of you onto her side of the bed. Knowing this ritual is coming allows all loving mates to plan for their cuddling and extra curricular activities in a reasonable manner. ;-)

Real Relationships

Real relationships are hard to find and even harder to keep. Once you think you have one, you become a little arrogant and then complacency sets in. That is when things start to fail because relationships are hard work. It is true that men and women are wired differently. Men love with their eyes while women love with their ears. Men are visual and therefore it is important that women maintain whatever atracked them in the first place, or their eyes will wander. Women on the other had want conversation, so whatever smooth lines you used to win her over, you better be able to keep it up. Place yourself into listening mode without judging or trying to always come up with the answer, and you will have a much more meaningful relationship. Since men are competitive by nature, always keep in mind and follow this rule....Sometimes it is better to be happy than right.  You have to keep up the compliments, affection and loving to make sure that you don't move down to being a lecturer or abuser. Just like with money, once you can recognize the real thing in a relationship, you will have no trouble recognizing the counterfeit.

Intuition

While I believe in woman's intuition it must be a terrible burden. My wife has the ability to just look at an individual, whether in the mall, driving their car, in church, or on TV and in a few moments can come up with a complete briefing on what type of person they are, how they were raised, and any bad habits they may have such as drinking, drugs, or poor taste in clothing. Not to say that some of these assumption could be correct but having this power on all the time must be exhausting. Imagine all the people we run into in a super market, at the movies, restaurants, and the list goes on and on.  Fortunately for her I am available to hear all the analysis so that her efforts will not be in vain. I know you want to smile......