Are you watching a movie or the evening news?

 For years I have enjoyed watching fictional action/suspense movies that always pictured an apocalyptic view of our world caused by man or nature. But recently it feels like many of these predictions may have been accurate. With climate change going unchecked massive storms, fires, air pollution, and famine are recking havoc on this earth. War has escalated in places around the world and rushed towards world war and possible mass destruction.

It is painful to watch the nws and not compare some of things I see with movies I've viewed. Our democracy is under seize by those people who believe that the country was built by white people, and they should fight to remain in power. The melting pot that we were suppose to be, is overtaking them and they are afraid. Watching the January 6th storming of the capital looks just a made for tv movie. As in the movies "Olympus Has Fallen", justice prevails and democracy wins....this time. There are twist and turns throughout the plot, with the President of the United States actually being the instigator of the riot with plans to take over the government. There is the conspiracy going on, the coverup, and the untimely deaths of some individuals during the seize. 

Covid came into the world and matched the intensity of a movie like "Outbreak", The world went into survival mode and has been playing out this movie for the past two years. Whole cities locked down in quarantine with places like New York, and Shanghai looking like ghost towns. Even as a "vaccine" was developed and pushed out to the world, hospitals where pushed to the limits, bodies piled up and long lines filled at stadium sites for testing and shots. None was safe as everyone was forced to wear masks and social distance. People protested mandates and loss of jobs and liberties. 

On top of all of this war breaks out in Ukraine as the leader of Russia decides that he wants to have more power by taken back land that was previously part of the failed Communist regime the USSR. This dictator has worked to make himself an autocratic leader for life. An ex KGB office in his previous life it would be an excellent plot for a Mission Impossible movie. The war atrocities that are shown on the news are scenes that would only be shown on movie screens in the past. It is hard to continue to hear the newscasters state the warning that these videos "are disturbing." It reminds me of "Saving Private Ryan".

The world has war going on in the name of religion and racial division. These play out in the news like newsreels. Guns have proliferated in the US that it seems to be going backwards to the ways of what we use to call the wild, wild, west. School shootings, police shootings, and the criminals outgunning the police are common in what was once the land of the free.

While I love a good movie, watching the news pains my heart. While I don't believe it fate or coincidence I do believe in providence. I believe that things are set in place and playout through some master plan. I don't believe I will live to see the end of this movie, but I am not optimistic about the final scenes.

To Be or Not To Be

 Several years ago, prior to the pandemic I read a book entitled "How to be an Antiracist" by Ibram X Kendi. This had a profound effect on me in understanding that one needs to be more than someone who is not a racist, but someone who actually tries to live and act without the bias of racism in their everyday life. Since then, I have tried to live my life without falling back on racial stereotypes against both people of color as well as whites.  I have found that doing so has made my life much more peaceful and less stressful. Based on my teachings from church, I have also learned that not letting go of the past and spending my emotional time with conspiracy theories about others only hurts me. While you are thinking about someone else's wrongs or blessing, they are spending no time think about or stressing out about you. 

My wife, who is a wonderful woman spends a great deal of time trying to figure out why black or white people do things and almost always takes things as a personal attack on her character, intelligence, or race. While I believe that women in general are much more perceptive than men, forming these types of conspiracy theories only seem to stress her out and in a constant state of anger. She is a racist by definition both against whites and blacks. The major assaults are against white women in particular. 

This difference in perspective sometimes spills over into our daily lives as she accuses me of always providing another alternative supporting that she is wrong about her intuitions. These are the majority of our disagreements. If a glass comes out dirty at a restaurant or the food is cold, it was done on purposes, or brought to her specifically because she is black. While I would be stupid to think that black people have been treated differently and poorly in restaurant situations, this cannot be the constant go to response. In most cases we point out the issue and get it resolved amicably.

Can you be a black racist? Of course. Stereotypes are pointed out about the way African Americans act and portray themselves. Whenever there is a shooting, theft or domestic violence stated on the news, my wife immediately sees a black person in her mind and verbalizes it. Certain types of dress or talk automatically produce a statement of being a criminal or other racial stigmas. I call it not being for real when you can talk to someone like a friend and then behind closed doors talk about them in a negative way.

I have broken my life into the four seasons, and right now I am in the fall of my years. Life has gotten easier for me as I realize that I have the choice to be or not to be. I try to handle those things that directly affect me and my family, without letting things or people who really have no impact on my life stress me out or use up my emotional capital. I believe that people (at least the ones I have contact with) are good until they give me a real reason, that I can prove, that they aren't. And that includes all races, cultures, sexual orientation or political beliefs.

 

A Time for War

 The world I have lived in all my life have been in a state of war. I can't remember a time when war was nor going. For me the first memories where those of Viet Nam. Then there was Bosnia, the Irish Republican Army, Grenada, and several other skirmishes. The Israeli's and the Palestinians have been at war my whole life.

 After 911 there was a constant war against terror in places like Afghanistan, Kuwait and Iraq have led to our military forces fighting overseas in three major military operations. Iran and Syria have been involved in civil war for years, as well as many countries in Africa like Somalia, Libya, and Yemen. Of course, you don't hear much about the African wars since we are talking about black people in a place that really doesn't view them important. Fortunately, there are still some humanitarian people here in America. 

Now after we have redrawn for our twenty-year unsuccessful war in Afghanistan, and on the heels of a worldwide pandemic, Russia has decided to invade its neighboring country of Ukraine, in an effort to take over the country and expand their territory. This is the vision of their leader Vladimir Putin to revive the USSR and their previous glory days. This could mean war in Europe again similar to World War II. These soviets do not play by any civilized rules of war and are just going in with brute force against both military and civilians to get what they want.   

Ukraine established a democracy after the USSR broke apart and has leaned towards the west in ideology and also wanted to be a part of NATO, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. This has spooked Putin, the Russian autocrat who has established himself as leader for life, who fears being surrounded to the west and has vowed to destroy democracy. With nuclear power in the background, he knows that the US and the EU will not risk bringing troops in to fight against him.

While I only feel the effect of this war economically right now there is much more pin to come for the world in which we live in. I cannot see the future, but I feel for the Ukrainian people and all they are going through now and will have to endure. I can only go about my day-to-day life, giving thanks for the blessing I enjoy here in a country that is definitely flawed, but still one of the best places to live in the world. Is there ever a time for war? No, but it appears there is always a war where humans are involved.

Miss Jenkins

 This year we moved into a new complex with six townhouse units. My wife has become the Miss Jenkins, or more accurately the Benita Butrell of the complex. For those who don't have a clue who this is, she was a character played by Kim Wayans on the ground breaking show In Living Color (look it up and check out you tube). She was the neighborhood gossip, known for her affection of Miss Jenkins (a black drama coach), who is usually the target of her most vicious gossip, and then endin  her stories with " I'm not one to gossip". My wife knows all the 411 that occurs in the complex, including people's comings and goings, the car parked out front, and who /why they are visiting. Why the people across the street haven't cut their grass, along with a multitude of information about all the various people that walk or take their dogs for a stroll in the park we use across the street.

It is amazing to me that she can just see a car coming down the street and know/feel that it is going to turn. And those people that allow their dogs to drop poop on the walking path are the worst people in the world. I sometimes call her captain obvious, since this is pointed out every day when it is seen, even after being squashed by bike riders. And speaking of bike riders, they too are so inconsiderate for passing without alerting the walkers like ourselves. Being somewhat paranoid also does help my Benita, as most things spotted are immediately identified as a problem. Why is that person down by the lake, are they feeding the alligators? Why is that car parked in the park so early in the morning and on several days in a row, it must be drug activity or clandestine meetings of some type. 

My time in the park and at home is to relax and enjoy the gifts of live. I've learned not to try to figure out everything or to judge. Usually when you do that you are looking at things through your perspective or how you would do things and without any idea of what is really going on with someone else. Sometimes when you see someone sitting on a bench they have not just had an argument with someone, looking for someone to mug, or homeless. They just want to exhale, breath some fresh air and enjoy the scenery.

Be For Real

 In my eyes today the most important trait that I have is that I am "for real". Real in my thinking and my actions towards others. I live in today and try not to live yesterday over and over. I'm not looking at the future with fear since it is unreasonable to be afraid of something that is either not life threatening (since we will all die at some point) or out of my control at this moment. I still believe in the "golden rule" of treating people the way you want to be treated. This seems to be a rule that has been forgotten or replaced by the rule that those who are more educated, have more money, or power treat others as being less than themselves. Racism is rampant, whether implicit or explicit. I am trying my best to be antiracist both to others and my own ethnic group.

The world today and particularly the United States is in a state of decline. Our politics are completely off the rails as the oppressors take advantage of the weak among us or just don't care. It is all about winning, having more, and the divide between what used to be two strong parties has deteriorated into winner take all and anything to beat the opposition. People see the facts and the world the way they want them to be instead of the way they are. Truth is whatever you believe and can convince other to believe.  

I believe in telling people what I believe based on as much knowledge as I can muster. Those who can't believe facts are prone to conspiracy theories and paranoia. I try to treat everyone with some respect or dignity because I don't know their situation. I don't go out of my way to cater to those who believe they are above me, just because of who they are or want to be. Smile in your face and talk about you behind you back is just not my style.

It is no wonder that most motion pictures portray the future as not a pleasant place. I read where there were creatures on this planet tens of thousands of years ago. It is hard to even imagine when our current calendar only has been counting for the last two thousand years. What will life be here after I am gone and we have climate change, technology changes, governments rise and fall? I'd really like to know but we can only guess. If at some point we learn to all live together on this small planet as "one" race, things could be very different. Until then I'll just try "to be for real."

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Are you a Verbal Narcissist?

 After spending most of my working life as a salesperson and in the management of salespeople I have worked very hard on developing one important skill for success. The skill is the ability to "listen". While many people think they are listening to what people are saying, they really aren't. In the case of salespeople, they typically want to talk more and get their points across, than to listen to s clients needs or questions. In normal life most people appear to be listening, but in their minds they are really formulating their response or next point.

 While you are thinking about what you are going to say, you can't focus on what is being said to you. It takes a lot of work and effort to truly listen. Part of the major problem with politicians these days, are that they do not listen to "understand". They listen for their opponent to make a mistake or say something they can capitalize on for their advantage. I can listen to a conspiracy theorist without interrupting and try to follow their thought. After that I can then respond with my beliefs and why, or ask for more information (facts) to support their idea. 

I have also learned that some people are just what I call "verbal narcissist". These are people who are love to hear themselves talk and believe that they "always" have something to talk about, whether you are interested or not. They have a comment on everything and love to talk about all the things that they have done or their knowledge on any subject. My brother is one of these people. I love him and he has had many life experiences, having been in the military and retiring as Colonel. Even while we were growing up he was the talker while I was more reflective and introverted. I learned over time that I didn't really need to talk unless I had something to say which added to a conversation, presentation, or relationship. As I have gotten older I have found it hard to deal with the verbal narcissist I meet. It is hard to get a word in during the conversations and when I do I pretty much feel like I am not really being listened to. 

I truly believe that patience is a virtue and I try to demonstrate it as much as possible. Many times people will let you know that they believe they are right most of the time, and any response or input from you is viewed as criticism. However, life is short and gets shorter everyday, so I'll continue to have the best conversations of my life with myself.

Don't Sweat It

 After reading Ibram X Kendi's book on "How to be an Antiracist" during the surge of the Black Lives Matter movement, the Trump era, and the pandemic I have tried to strive to look at each individual's behavior separately and not part of any collective body, such as all Blacks, all whites, women, men, gay, straight, rich or poor. Of course I have my biases, whether explicit or implicit. After all I see the world through the glasses that I have had on for my entire life and those experiences that may be similar to others but are still mine alone,

My wife has a whole different set of experiences and it is very obvious when looking at the way we view the world and others. She  is very much a person who feels that she is intuitive when looking at others actions and can develop a storyline around everything based on her experiences. This includes may racist ideas, conspiracy theories, and stereotypes. None of these are bad in and of themselves, since curiosity and the need to have information are beneficial in getting things accomplished. 

We all have to be careful though to not push our thoughts as truth without any other facts than "I know or believe that to be true." Also this can lead us to paranoia and add stress when it is not needed. At my age I try to see the blessing I have and not think that everyone is trying to "get over" on you, or out to do you harm. I my wife's case this includes the squirrels in the park, that have been fed by walkers, and now are not afraid of people. She has read their minds now and lets me know everyday about this and that they are begging for food every time one comes close All rule breakers are pointed out. Those that walk on the wrong side of the path, no dog lease, park in different places with their lights on, people who don't use turn signals are subject to her wrath.

Now that the pandemic is coming down and people again begin "to socialize" again I hope that I can maintain my view of "not sweating the small stuff" and maintain a positive view of things until I can see that really was something that needs to be corrected, because it affects me and mine. Life is short and to get the most out of it one must try to be the best that "you" can be while either helping others do the same or getting out of their way.